? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
