need another drink. this is the easiest way
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
