I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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