The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
