I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
