There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We talked him into tasing himself.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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