I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
