i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize