i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
