i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
