She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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