At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
