GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
