you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
