I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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