Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
