So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
