Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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