giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
