i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
