I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
