We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize