No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
