I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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