the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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