he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
ttyl tear gas
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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