So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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