There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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