Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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