he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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