Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
