yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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