just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
