and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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