I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
