Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
