ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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