Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
