is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have fence marks all over my body
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
