his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
