You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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