dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
