this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
