everyone is single if you try hard enough
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize