I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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