i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
there is puke in my bra ... again
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
