i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
