Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I have already put on my inside pants.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
