The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
