My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
