I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
