I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
