just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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