Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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