Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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