i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
