I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
