Dual....:-)
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
