Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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