How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
no you cant smoke seaweed
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
