am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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